so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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