I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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