I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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