so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize