when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize