3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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