So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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