i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize