You made me cry and you don't even care
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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