brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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