oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize