You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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