For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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