Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  So drunk its hurt

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  (810): So drunk its hurt http://tfl.nu/8w92
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  (631): View more from New York

  I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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  (631): I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick http://tfl.nu/3foz
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.

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  (812): There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better. http://tfl.nu/hacu
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

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  (419): His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him. http://tfl.nu/wimg
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  (315): View more from New York

  I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

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  (315): I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse http://tfl.nu/h4gb
  Replies (37) Good night (3142) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.

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  (248): she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look. http://tfl.nu/ne7a
  Replies (14) Good night (743) Bad night (4386) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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  (732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative! http://tfl.nu/b5c4
  Replies (67) Good night (6779) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.

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  (413): My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers. http://tfl.nu/7b3u
  Replies (46) Good night (8630) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.

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  (719): No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina. http://tfl.nu/dm8r
  Replies (9) Good night (3981) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (854): View more from

  i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews

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  (854): i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews http://tfl.nu/lvjo
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.

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  (920): I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs. http://tfl.nu/adoe
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?

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  (540): I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night? http://tfl.nu/328v
  Replies (9) Good night (2424) Bad night (528)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge

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  (518): Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge http://tfl.nu/f69s
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  (909): View more from California

  Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"

  (951): View more from California

  That's just where I'm at in my life.

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  (909): Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!" (951): That's just where I'm at in my life. http://tfl.nu/gh6a
  Replies (10) Good night (1463) Bad night (814)
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  (760): View more from California

  I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico

  (760): View more from California

  You can wake up to my rainbow of failure

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  (760): I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico (760): You can wake up to my rainbow of failure http://tfl.nu/n9kz
  Replies (0) Good night (251) Bad night (460)

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