Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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