I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
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I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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