I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
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I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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