Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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