i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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