I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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