Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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