I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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