I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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