Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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