goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
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Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
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Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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