I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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