scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize