Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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