I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize