# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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