He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
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We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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