You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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