winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize