We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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