I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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