IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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