I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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