Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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