Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize