Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I did not marry a roomba.
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