maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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