Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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