just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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