Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize