you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
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its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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