The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just invented taco cereal.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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