they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
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So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
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As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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