These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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