how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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