he puts the penis in happiness.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize