i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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